Wanna ask me something? Email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Here’s some weird shit that people have asked me:
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: Have you found the secret hidden message in the Pink Floyd song “Empty Spaces”?
Unfortunetly, no I have not, but if you did, please send your answer to Old Pink, care of the Funny Farm, Chalfont… Roger! Carolyne’s on the phone!
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: Have you ever seen ‘House of 1,000 Corpses’?
Unfortunately, yes. It’s one of the most disturbing movies ever. Rob Zombie is a sick man.
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: Have you ever seen ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’?
Of course! I’ve seen the original 1974 film, but decided not to watch any of the sequels cause I heard they were just awful. Then I saw the 2003 remake and it was kind of lame, and then the sequel to that came out and it was the most awful slasher movie I’ve seen in quite some time. I’m a big slasher movie fan, though. I’ve seen every Friday the 13th, most of the Elm Street series, all of the Halloween movies (Except for the third one which is totally unrelated from all the other movies for some stupid reason). The 80s were ripe with blood and slashing carnage, where did all the murder go?
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: What kind of scentence is this? Simple or complex?
I’d say complex because you spelled ‘sentence’ wrong, so it’s hard to tell exactly what you mean. For all I know ‘scentence’ could be an alien word that means ‘alligator’, in which case I would say, alligator’s really aren’t that complex, just remember to try to not do an imitation of food next to them and don’t throw any sort of pottery magazine at them (They hate that).
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: What’s your favorite color?
On Jul 23, 2009 (Normal) Austin asks: Have you ever listened to Psychostick?
Yes, indeed I have. They’re the band that did that one song about BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, right?
On Jun 20, 2009 Liam asks: What’s your personal favorite “Weird Al” Yankovic parody song?
White & Nerdy, no, A Complicated Song, wait no, The Saga Begins, oh, don’t make me choose…
On Jun 14, 2009, Jaden asks: Are Jared’s hands up?
The Subway guy, or that jewelry store? If Jared Fogle, I’d say I don’t know, there’s probably been at least one or two times in his life when his hands were in the air, but probably before the weight gain or after the weight loss, ya know, when he could actually move them. If the jewelry store, then I don’t think so, I don’t think buildings have arms. Even if they did they probably would be non-functioning. If they were functioning then I think it would probably deter people from shopping there. I wouldn’t want to go to a store where two arms were sticking out of the side and could grab you and smash you against the buildings hard concrete exterior at any moment. So depending on what Jared your talking about, one can put his hands up (Depending on what year this cinerio takes place in), and the other probably can’t because it would be bad for business and would probably lead to some homicide or (Depending on if the building was racist against a particular group of people) genocide charges. The moral of this is, don’t mess with a bulding with arms!
On Jun 12, 2009, Liam asks: Do the original artists ever get money after a parody is constructed?
Do to the Supreme Court case: Campbell Vs. Acuff-Rose Music (2 Live Crew Vs. The Estate of Roy Orbison), parodies are fair use, and thus do not require any permission, or royalties. So technically no parodist has to pay the original artist for their parody, or ask for permission. The only reason Weird Al does it is because he has the connections to do so, and probably due to the popularity he has, he’d be getting a lot of angry letters from artists who don’t understand the law (Coolio!) if he didn’t. I however have no connections, so I just can’t get a hold of the original artist for permission. So yes in some cases the original artists get da dough, but not often as it’s legal to not pay them.
On May 11, 2009, Josh asks: What’s the difference between you and “Weird Al” Yankovic?
About 12 million dollars.
On Apr 30, 2009, Wyatt asks: How did you think up these songs and the words for them?
I don’t know, they just come to me, I guess.
On Apr 17, 2009, Madison asks: What color shirt am I wearing?
Roy G. Biv!
On Apr 14. 2009, Josh asks: Are you friends with “Weird Al” Yankovic?
On Apr 4, 2009, Brianna asks: Am I meant to be with a guy named Caleb McCann?
The cards say it shall be so… or something, I don’t know I’m not a fortune teller.
On Jan 13, 2009 Bob asks: A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?
Well assuming that those 9 sheep were immortal anthropomorphic gods that changed shape to look like sheep, and the others were highly diseased mutant extraterrestrial beings, I’d have to say all 17 survived because the gods with there vast powers would simply revive the mutant sheep and then probably give them a chocolate flavored truffle.
On Jul 17, 2008 Ike asks: Good site.
On Jul 25, 2008 Chris asks: How does it feel to be one year older?
On Jun 28, 2008 (Not quite as odd) Austin asks: Who’s your biggest influence?
Well, Austin, bands that I really admire that have greatly influenced me, acts that have made my jaw drop in amazement include: Jonathan Coulton, They Might Be Giants, The Beatles, Fountains of Wayne, and “Weird Al” Yankovic, among others.
On Jun 6, 2008 Jake asks: When you go big (Which I know you are), will you give me front row seats to one of your concerts?
Front row seating! Who wants that? I’ll get you on stage seats! Seriously though Jake, if I ever have a show you’re able to come to and I have the authority at the venue to give front row tickets you’ll be the first person I call!
On May 26, 2008 Nick asks: I heard one of your songs on a Chicago radio station called “The Loop” and I loved it. I was wondering when a CD is going to be available and how hard it will be to find?
That was probably The Dr. Demento Show, I get played there every now and then. CDs are at my website.
On Apr 3, 2008 Jacob asks: How did you get started in the music making industry?
I started making music, and thus was kinda forced to be apart of the group of people who make music.
On Apr 2, 2008 Tyler asks: You’ve had a long miserable day, parents grounded you, your girlfriend dumps you, what would you do to make your day a little better, what cheers you up the most?
On March 29, 2008 Lou asks: Austin, could you tell me how your surname is pronounced? I was telling a friend about you but wasn’t sure…
On Feb 16, 2008 Tyler asks: Are you into any sports? If so who’s your favorite team?
I’m not into any sports.
On Feb 16, 2008 Tyler asks: During your music career have you met any celebrities?
Only one comes to mind. About a month ago I went to go see a comedy show in Denver. There were two acts performing, the funny Jasper Reed who uses imagery to make people laugh (Like comparing womens’ need for weight loss to the seemingly constant necessity to make television sets thinner and thinner). Jasper was the opening act. After his set came the hilarious Daniel Tosh, he did a two hour set that had some great bits including a lot of Hurricane Katrina related jokes (I know it’s taboo, but it’s still funny). After the set he just walked out into the lobby and hung out with us fans and took pictures.
On Oct 26, 2007 Jordan asks: What are two of your favorite songs?
Some of my favorite acts are: Jonathan Coulton, They Might Be Giants, Fountains of Wayne, “Weird Al” Yankovic, The Beatles, and this list could go on for a while. Pick any one of the songs made by those acts mentioned and it’s likely one of my favorite tracks of theirs.
On Oct 4, 2007 Joey asks: I wanna know are your songs hard to make, does it take a long time?
I’m rather obsessive about my songs, so usually yeah they take longer than I’d like to be finished.
On Oct 2, 2007 Lady asks: What is it that no one wishes to have yet no one wishes to lose?
I’d say the only reasonable answer to your paradox of a question is the Plastic Ono Band album “Double Fantasy” . On one hand no person on earth would wish to own the absolutely horrendous recordings of Yoko Ono, but then again half of the album includes John Lennon songs. So what’d we learn today kids? That’s right John Lennon equals great music, Yoko One equals awful music.
On Oct 1, 2007 Lady asks: Why did the duck cross the road?
On Aug 18, 2007 Chris asks: How long have you been writing music?
On Aug 18, 2007 Chris asks: How did you get on a record label?
It’s simple, I made up my own label and then naturally I got signed… after a few attempts of getting those stubborn executives to listen to me. Gosh…
On Jun 11, 2007 David asks: How do you perform your concerts?
Usually I just bring a CD player and lip sync.
On Jun 11, 2007 David asks: Also, do you know Brooke Hogan?
On Jun 7, 2007 Jeffrey asks: Have you ever met Weird Al?
No, well not yet at least. I went to a show of his in the Coors Amphitheatre of Denver this year but didn’t get an autograph, maybe next tour.
On Apr 27, 2007 Kaeley asks: Did you write these songs yourself or did someone else write them for you, because a lot of famous singers do that!
Yes I write every single word, rhyme, lyric, and stupid word that appears on my music…. except of course when I don’t.
On Apr 15, 2007 Ashley asks: What’s your favorite food?
Well I have a lot of dishes I’m fond of as does everyone I’m sure, but right now I suppose that my favorite food is Peanut Butter Pizza…. or maybe it’s lasagna I’m not too sure. It’s kind of hard to say what your favorite is since there are so many types of food. Why don’t I just say miscellaneous edible and inedible items.